Dec
16

In another rampantly stupid and downright reckless move, George W. Bush, otherwise known as the lamest lame duck president ever, has recently decided in his infinite ignorance to allow people to carry concealed weapons in National Parks. Dubya, often seen wearing a huge twenty gallon hat and a pair of toy silver revolvers, has rolled back a Department of Interior regulation that once banned loaded concealed weapons in parks. Dubya’s new regulation would allow licensed concealed weapon carriers to strap on their heat in any National Park near you. Hear that, Plaxico Burress?

This new deregulation came about because the National Rifle Association pumped millions of dollars into the election campaigns of Dubya and 51 equally simple-minded Senators who then wrote a letter to the Secretary of the Interior in December of 2007. This letter argued that the regulations banning concealed weapons in National Parks “infringe on the rights of law-abiding gun owners, who wish to transport and carry firearms on or across these lands” and that the existing regulations for public lands were “confusing, burdensome, and unnecessary.” These 51 Senators, predominately Republicans like John McCain or western Democrats from places like Montana, have been plied with NRA money for years. Dubya, who as a faux Texan was born with a gun in one hand and a noose in the other, has been given millions in NRA campaign donations over the years. So, this is the NRA’s early Christmas present.

As it became known last spring that Dubya and his team were trying to turn Yellowstone into Dodge City, 140,000 Americans wrote to the Dept. of the Interior about the issue. 90% were against allowing concealed weapons into National Parks, which are right now considered by the FBI to be some of the safest lands in the US. These people were summarily ignored by Dubya and his NRA crew. Sound familiar?

Dubya is an idiot, which is widely known, but he does have a certain crude sense of timing, much like a jackal or a Guinea Worm. By changing the regulations now and getting them officially in the books, he will have effectively blocked Barack Obama from rolling it back with any kind of ease when he gets into office. It could now take Obama years to get the regulation fixed and made sane again. Meanwhile, Dubya and his beady-eyed little hoard of gun freaks will be firing their pistols wildly and in all directions in our National Parks.

Chris Cox, a slimy and possibly diseased spokesman for the NRA, noted how pleased his organization was that the new regulation “recognizes the rights of law-abiding citizens to protect themselves and their families while enjoying America’s National Parks.” This sort of Wild West ideal is the main crux of the NRA’s argument for allowing concealed weapons anywhere and everywhere. That and the 200-plus year old 2nd Amendment that was written in an entirely different world for a variety of what were then very important reasons. However, no matter what conservatives and gun nuts would have us believe, things have changed in the past 200-plus years.

But anyway, the idea that the only way to protect yourself is to carry a gun is flat out wrong and probably stupid. It brings about a John Wayne/Wild West version of reality that is dangerous and pathetically uninformed. The idea that we should all live in an armed society where everyone walks around with pistols in holsters and settles disputes with gunfire is insane and regressive. There was once a time when life was lived that way in towns and in the wilderness; a time when drunken shootings and lynchings were the norm and when the only type of law was vigilantism. Thankfully, to most sane people who understand that those times were terrible and not at all like John Wayne or Sarah Palin would have us believe, those times ended well over 100 years ago. Now, Dubya and his posse want to bring those horrible times back to us, in our National Parks nonetheless. The next time the people at the campsite next to yours are noisy and you want to ask them to keep it down, make sure you draw your firearm before going over there. Shoot first and shoot often, right Dubya? Screw the consequences.

Let’s see: never ending war, economic depression, total environmental destruction, and now gunfights in Yosemite. What a legacy.

Makes me want to throw my shoes at someone.