An Inside Job: The Firebrand Storms the Halls of Government

“When The Going Gets Weird, The Weird Turn Pro.”
- Hunter S. Thompson

The Firebrand stormed the New York State Capitol today and spread its dogmatic propaganda throughout the vast reaches of the internet. A stunned Governor David Paterson was left near tears and mumbled something that sounded to this reporter like “it was an inside job…must have been an inside job…Oh God, what can I do now?” The Governor was led away by his secret police who refused to answer for his odd behavior.

NYSCA Interview-Jeff Tocci

Senate Launches YouTube Testimony

History in the NYS Legislature! Today marks the first time advocates were able to provide testimony to a public budget hearing via YouTube.

Goodbye Forever (We Hope…)

“Always give your best, never get discouraged, never be petty; always remember, others may hate you, but those that hate you don’t win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself.”—Richard Nixon, farewell speech to staff, 1974

Richard Nixon uttered these words in a drunken, tear-stained stupor as he bid farewell to his White House staff shortly after his filthy corruption became too public to ignore and he was forced to resign the office of president. He left in a cloud of shame and lies forever to be known as “Tricky Dick,” the man who would have been king.

“Shoot First, Think Later (Or Never)” Cowboy W. Aims At Bringing His Version Of The Wild West To A National Park Near You.

In another rampantly stupid and downright reckless move, George W. Bush, otherwise known as the lamest lame duck president ever, has recently decided in his infinite ignorance to allow people to carry concealed weapons in National Parks. Dubya, often seen wearing a huge twenty gallon hat and a pair of toy silver revolvers, has rolled back a Department of Interior regulation that once banned loaded concealed weapons in parks. Dubya’s new regulation would allow licensed concealed weapon carriers to strap on their heat in any National Park near you. Hear that, Plaxico Burress?

American Suburbia: ‘Cancerous Cells of Unmentionable Ugliness’

“At first it’s beautiful to just watch that white line reel into Willie’s snout but when I start looking around out the window there’s just endless housing tracts and new blue factories everywhere—Sez Dave: ‘Yes, that’s right, the population explosion is gonna cover every bit of backyard dirt in America some day in fact they’ll even have to start piling up friggin levels of houses and others over that like your cityCityCITY till the houses reach a hundred miles in the air in all directions of the map and people looking at the earth from another planet with super-telescopes will see a prickly b

Black Friday

“Suddenly, witnesses and the police said, the doors shattered, and the shrieking mob surged through in a blind rush for holiday bargains. One worker, Jdimytai Damour, 34, was thrown back onto the black linoleum tiles and trampled in the stampede that streamed over and around him. Others who had stood alongside Mr. Damour trying to hold the doors were also hurled back and run over, witnesses said.”
“Wal-Mart Employee Trampled To Death.” New York Times, November 29, 2008.

Awakening from a Great and Terrible Nightmare

November 5, 2008

Last night, America awoke from its fevered nightmare of the past eight years and threw off the shackles of bigotry and racism long enough to elect the most exciting political candidate to hit this nation since JFK blew into the White House over 48 years ago. Today, for the first time in many a year, I am proud to be called an American. And there are millions just like me.

You Are Always Going to Be Alone and You Deserve to Be: The Fallacy of Online Dating and Similar Lies

“One can see evidence of the empty self in current psychological discourse about narcissism and borderline states, the popular culture’s emphasis on consuming, political advertising strategies that emphasize soothing and charisma instead of critical thought, and a nationwide difficulty in maintaining personal relationships.”
Philip Cushman, PhD, “Why the Self is Empty: Toward a Historically Situated Psychology.”

Night of the Lotus Eaters

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, NYC, October 4, 2008

The Nick Cave show had all of the subtlety of watching a bear eat a kitten. It was a fantastic, noise-laden journey into the darkest depths of our collective psyche. It was terrifying and surreal, like taking acid and jumping out of a hot air balloon with only a torn strap as a bungee. Cave and the Seeds attacked with a fury few “modern” bands can even imagine, let alone emulate.